Change

I have been spending some time contemplating the word change and what it actually means. I have gone through a lot of changes in the last five years. The first change was when I had surgery. After having surgery I lost 130 pounds and my life started to change. (I had gastric bypass for those who didn't know. Now you all know my little secret.) That was a big change in my life and because of that, I have changed. However, I started to think about change and wondering if I only changed because of the surgery or if I would have changed because of other things in my life. Since having the surgery I got married, (big change), had two kids, (huge change) bought a house, quit working, finished college, have held various church callings, and have a greater desire to be a better person. Now did all of that happen because of the surgery? I don't know, but I do know that I have changed. However, I feel I have changed for the better. I know that the surgery did play a huge role in some of these changes and I am grateful for the surgery. I am grateful for the confidence I received as I started to lose the weight. I realized as my confidence was building I did not want to be the person I was before. I don't feel I was bad or really that mean, but I do remember that it was easy to put others down and in my mind by putting other people down I was building myself up. ( I am ashamed to admit that, but it is in the past). I realized that I needed to change and I realized that I didn't want to be that person anymore. I have changed. I have a husband and two children that I am responsible for. Everyday I look for ways to better myself so I can be a better wife and mother. Am I perfect, HECK NO! But I am trying. I am trying to be a better member and trying to continue to perfect myself for me and my family. I have the option of having an eternal family and it is my responsibility to teach my kids and my responsibility to keep myself worthy to have that eternal family. So yes I have changed!! Every single day I am changing or at least I hope I am . I am hopefully progressing in my knowledge and becoming more like my Savior. I am trying to be the kind of person Heavenly Father and Jesus want me to be. Some days I am a whole lot better than others. Some days I fail miserably which makes me want to try even harder the next day. I have spent many hours on my knees asking forgiveness for the stupid things I have done and I have decided I would rather not have to ask for forgiveness if I don't need to, so of course I am changing and I think it is important to change. I do not feel that my change only happened because of my surgery. I am a different person physically because of my surgery, but I am a different person spiritually because of the choices I have made since then. I realize that some people do not like me the same way they did and for that I am sorry, but please realize that I will continue to change if it means I am progressing and getting closer to living with my family in the eternities. I love my husband and children more that anything and I want to be with them now and forever, so I will continue to change. If you look at me differently because of this then I am sorry. I am Christal Lunt with a husband and two kids and I will continue to change.